Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Last night, I dreamt that the bar (off which one hangs clothes) in my wardrobe collapsed from the weight. Random. Maybe it's a sign... that I need a new closet.
Well OK, I have been shopping quite ridiculously. I've run out of hanging space and have simply been stashing my purchases, straight from the bag and still folded, into any available space inside my cupboards. So much so that sometimes I forget what I 'd bought just the week before, and get a pleasant surprise upon rummaging through the mess.
And the thing is I haven't even been going out specially to shop. It usually happens when I have some time to kill in between appointments, or if I don't quite feel like heading home right after work. What's more, I seem to have developed a mild obsession with shoes of late, and I almost always walk out from a shoe store with a new pair.
I might as well be wrapping my paychecks around my feet.
Monday, July 21, 2008
What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
What a beautiful dream
That could flash on the screen
In a blink of an eye and be gone from me
Soft and sweet
Let me hold it close and keep it here with me
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see
Love to be
In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me
In The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Getting peeks at the newest designer collections and surfing through random fashion/street style blogs and websites has made me a conducive environment for the shopping bug to thrive.
I need more closet space. Or maybe I just need to shop less. But how fun is that?
I think I almost blacked out last night while I was out. My vision suddenly became patchy and blurry. It was fucking scary. I've only ever blacked out once in my life and that lasted only a few seconds. I don't know what happened. Could've been the fact that it's that time of the month. Or that I was on painkillers and had one can of beer (although the package didn't say anything about not mixing with alcohol). Maybe it was because I'd only had one meal, at 5pm. Or that I was tired from drinking the night before. Maybe it was just a little bit of everything, like a little motley crew of bad things.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I stole you for 10 seconds to take this shot when you were still throwing the last few things into your bags and we were about to leave for the airport.
I miss those curtains. I miss your bed. I miss your room. I miss you.
One aspect I've always considered myself lucky in is that the jobs I take on don't require me to stick to a strict dress code of office wear. Five out of seven days fidgeting uncomfortably in a pencil skirt? I'd be pretty damn miserable.
People often say to me, "You’re so lucky, you can wear what you want." When I get told that on days where I couldn't be bothered to dress up in the morning, I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm looking a little sloppy or if they are genuinely envious of me being able to dress how I like. But that's just me being ridiculous. I'm thoroughly convinced that dress codes are a pain.
Funny thing is that even at my present job, some days I still feel a little restricted. I suppose a line needs to be drawn, but you know, some days you just want to put on bright pink stockings, chunky heels and walk out that door.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
So I'm feeling much better since my last post. (Thank god for the Internet.)
I felt so bad the first few days, even going to work seemed like torture. It made me think that maybe your overall happiness really determines how you feel in various aspects of your life. Maybe there isn't a perfect job, or a perfect life - just a perfect state of mind.
I don't have much to say today, but I wanted to have a more positive entry up. I feel inspired to do up this space a little, though I'm not quite sure exactly what just yet.
Hmmmm.
P/S: I'm currently listening to this a lot:
Listen/Download: Faust Arp - Radiohead
Thursday, July 03, 2008
The air seems to be different. As if it knows you're not here anymore.
Earlier, we sat side-by-side tucking into a mini feast we had bought ourselves in the airport canteen. "It's almost time to go," you said quietly. Your face was passive, betraying the sadness you told me you felt. Our eyes fixed on each other, I tried to lighten the mood by being silly: "How do you look in someone's eyes? Which eye do you look at?" You just smiled weakly.
We made our way up towards the departure hall, and as we waited for the lift, I pressed my nose against you, trying to take in your smell - the one I love so much. Your mom told us to take a photo before you were to go through the doors flanked by airport personnel. I put my arm around you, not knowing whether to smile - it would be a lie if I did. A tight hug and a kiss later, I found myself watching you walk away. No desperate clutching or crying like the picture I concocted in my head leading up to this moment. I tried to disassociate myself from what was happening, not wanting to cry in public and in front of your family.
I stared out the window in the car ride home, the buildings whizzed by and my mind was a blank. Upon reaching my front gate, I thanked your dad for the ride home and said my goodbyes to your family. I stopped in the living room to pick my cat up for a quick cuddle, and in an empty voice (and still-dry eyes), told my brothers that you had just left. Getting my usual mug of water from the kitchen, I wearily trudged my way up to my bedroom. I locked the door behind me, dropped my bag onto the floor, and flopped onto my bed. I picked up your T-shirts, the ones that couldn't fit into your luggage and still smell of you, pressed them to my face, and the tears started to flow.