Monday, May 29, 2006
So I've managed to slow down just a tad, after clocking 11 hours a day for 9 days straight (with just one day off in between). Too often, I find myself getting depressed about going to work the next day. In terms of time, it's hard to believe I'm already on my fourth week - that much closer to payday! - yet I already feel pretty much in the groove of things. I've surprised myself.
Now if only everything else would fall into place.
PS: I know the photo isn't perfectly congruous, but I just felt like posting it. That's my little (to me) brother at the Incheon International Airport in Seoul.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
God. I am so fucking tired I could die. At the rate I'm going, I just might.
Friday, May 19, 2006
... when the only thing you're consistent about is managing to accidentally spill your coffee in the store's pantry three mornings in a row, by the stupidest means possible.
Examples: swatting the (paper) cup with your shirt as you're grabbing it off the clothes stand; or turning around with the mug in your hand, colliding with the mini fridge in the process.
Maybe if I stick to tea instead?
(P/S: Ci'en, will get down to this when I come up with enough!)
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
I like getting things in the mail, although you hardly do anymore, since snail mail has been bumped off by snazzy new methods of communication.
So I get home today and see an envelope with my name in the little plastic window. Yay.
Then I see "Notification on the Human Organ Transplant Act". Double yay.
The mass-disseminated letter is a page long, but they might as well have written: "Congratulations! You are turning 21. You will die someday. GIVE US YOUR KIDNEYS."
What happened to a nice birthday card?
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Byebye, Jie. See you in 3 months. I hope it doesn't feel as long as it sounds (I doubt it). Miss you already!
It's been a week since I've started work. In retrospect, it passed by pretty quickly. But each day seems much too long, and I'm always drained by the end of it. That said, it's nice to be able to fully appreciate the small pockets of free time again.
Each night I step into my room and immediately feel a sense of comfort. I just want to stay up all night, so I can do all the things I don't get to do in the day - so that the small pockets become enormous possibilities.
Mental soundtrack: Tracy Chapman - Fast Car
Saturday, May 13, 2006
I have this tendency to forget to zip up the coin compartment of my wallet, which always ends up with me showering the pavement with change.
This happened again today - as I tapped the EZ-link reader at the MRT station, I heard the clinking of coins hitting the floor. I looked down, then at my unzipped wallet, and a string of expletives erupted in my head. I kept walking anyway.
I'd already gone a few metres, when suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder, and a woman handed me the coins that I'd dropped. I thanked her, and as she walked away in the opposite direction, I realised that she'd gone literally out of her way to catch up with me. I looked at what she'd put in my hand, and saw that it was only 21 cents. I was slightly perplexed, but mostly heartened, that a stranger would bother to do that even for abit of small change.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Oh lord, I'm exhausted.
I can't quite put my finger on why I've been feeling so shitty lately. It doesn't help that there are all these little things that serve to piss me off everyday.
I was at the cab stand, agitated after half an hour of pointless waiting, when this girl walked over carrying a small dog. I envisioned myself going up to her and asking if I could play with her dog because "I'm having a bad night and it would really cheer me up." But of course, I didn't, because it's not like me, and I don't have that much faith in the kindness of strangers.
Going off on a tangent, I wonder how parents really feel when random strangers interact with their babies like they're in a pseudo petting zoo. I am always compelled to smile and/or make faces at babies - only if their parents aren't looking. It just seems sorta invasive, but I could be wrong.
Monday, May 08, 2006
gjek brleunfclsejkcnwljfn ol fblwekfbsekjfgKLJWBG KLWBG KLWJblkbkljgbekljsgbkljabgkjrlbg lwkubfeklwjgbr ltvhwrgrhbwlkf hvwel;ifj wep'rvj3hoi85rh234gbt4wl;kik;bjgnrl gm,qfgeajDKJewufbeljfnelkvndslkf nesljf bsdkjcvb dksjfb skjfbsdjk fbskj.vbskdjvbslkfvnSLJgv bSLKvnsD/lkfbSE?LR/ELR.
Just needed to bang on the keyboard abit. Ignore me. (Although by typing "ignore me", I am inadvertently making you do just the opposite.)
(All the parentheses are not helping.)
Sunday, May 07, 2006
For some reason, the word has been stuck in my head the entire day. I'd be walking, checking out what's in the shops, thinking about how hungry I am, and I'd hear it in my head. Ampersand. Or I'd be sipping my latte, circling the rim of the mug with my fingertip as we sit in near silence. Ampersand.
At a superficial level it seems totally random, but it's strangely fitting to the day I've had. Just when I thought I held the trump card for bad news, I get hit by a barrage of fresh ones. More, more, more. Ampersand.
Having had the time and space to let it sink in (although I'm not sure it has completely), I still feel surprisingly nonchalant about it. I don't know if this is how I really feel, but I don't want to be talked into getting upset if I'm not. That said, I've been honest about my real feelings thus far. Whether or not I suddenly realize the true implications only as I'm lying wide awake one night, thinking (it's abit of a specialty), is another matter entirely.
But I'd like to think we are stronger than this.
Mental soundtrack: Track A Tiger - Sound As Ever
I really ought to be sick of drinking by now. Unfortunately for the side of me that usually makes pretty sensible decisions, I find it hard to exercise self-control sometimes. There should be an inner mechanism that lets you know when you've had enough; like anything alcoholic that you consume after a certain point would taste like rotten eggs.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
It began with an impromptu trip down to Beat on Friday (pics are up on flickr!), lunch with the girls on Saturday, and the guzzling of beer till the wee hours of the morning in Geylang (hurhur) on Sunday. It then culminated in yet another manic drinking session last night.
(Photos courtesy of dubby's snazzy new camera)
To quote Ci'en: "I love us!"
So I fell into bed at 2am, only to wake up at 5.30am feeling insanely warm, which I suppose was a result of being dehydrated. Lay awake for the next 2 hours, trying desperately to fall back asleep. Alas, it was not to be. Resignedly, I got out of bed at 7.30am, thus the previous entry.
On the flip side, early mornings are inspiring in some way, and armed with my iPod and a Penguin Pocketbook for company, I decided to head out for a solo breakfast. I strolled home after, going at snail's pace and soaking in the morning sunshine, stopping every so often to admire the details that I usually just whizz past.
Mental soundtrack: Corinne Bailey Rae - Like A Star
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
It's too darn early. But here I am, wide awake, with puffy eyes and the bones in my hands aching.
Will give some semblance of a proper post at a more decent hour and after I've satisfied these hunger pangs.